Male Sex Education:  A Rethinking 

Young men in our modern society are no more informed about their own sexuality than beast in the field.  While even the beast of the field only mate when the female is prepared for such mating demonstrating a consideration for the larger group and within environmental constraints when resources are available.  And when the herd's numbers exceed the environments ability to support their numbers in health and vitality nature provides predators to cull those numbers.  Animals seem to have more innate connection to the appropriate application of sexual union then we humans. And many so-called primitive pagan peoples have instructed their men about their responsibilities to both the satisfaction of women as well as the need to apply sexual union for the betterment of the group.

 

Recently I was informed by a young man that he was questioned in a somewhat intimidating manner as to why he wasn't exercising is prerogative and had not been "hitting it" with the females lately.  He told them that he was practicing celibacy for a while.  They were somewhat shocked and alarmed and went on to inform him that it was normal and natural to "get all he could".   Actually he lied to them because his real motivation for cooling his jets was that he had been noticing for some time that he had been feeling depleted after sex and wanted to have a period of abstinence to conserve whatever it was that had been depleted.  He also told me that he had noticed that since practicing abstinence his thoughts seem to have greater clarity while his ability to concentrate had improved.  I asked if he had considered "making love" to a women and to commit to satisfying the women without ejaculation; thereby preventing this lose of nervous energy.  He told me he thought it was impossible to stop himself from ejaculating!  I wondered out loud how prevalent this limitation was for many of us men, and how this contradicted our all-powerful myth of patriarchy. This same young man also told me that while he was being lambasted for failing to "sow his wild oats" there were women present to hear this inquisition who were absolutely mute on the subject.  I suspect that many women humor us knowing how frail and vulnerable we are in the face of this simple truth:  Generally speaking, we men in modern "civilized" society are almost never taught to control a very simple and profoundly important biological function, - ejaculation.

The barbarity of the sex act was quite prevalent before the 20th century when women were viewed as strictly chattel and the marital union was a sad affair.  Women were not expected to know anything about their bodies and a so-called decent women was generally a virgin.  Most women were literally "taken" on their wedding night with little foreplay or arousal involved. Sex was seldom done face-to-face and decent married couples copulated from the rear expressly for the purpose of procreation.  For most men, sex education consisted of a visit to a prostitute.  And within a marriage only the male was expected to be sexually sophisticated, although how and where he obtained this experience was never discussed in polite company.  A women was not expected to get pleasure from the sex act and her husband generally entered into each conjugal visit seeking only to relieve some pent-up nervous tension characterized as horny.  Even today, it  is generally believed by both men and women alike that men have sexual urges that if not satisfied, well, we will burst.

Today in the 21 Century we consider ourselves more sophisticated then 19th or early 20th Century people but are we really?  Certainly since the advent of the Playboy generation and the sexually-liberated 60s we are able to at least discuss sex without nervous giggling.  But I'm afraid that our sex education today is no more than a discussion of anatomy and the proverbial what-goes-where-and-when.  Young men are not instructed nor are they trained to control their parts as for example as we are taught to control our bladders.  Women who take Lamaze classes in preparation for child birth are taught Kegel exercises to strengthen the perineal muscles but men have no equivalent event requiring such development.  And certainly this sort of sexual education would not be provided even today; less our educators be accused of encouraging our young to go out and have sex.   Consequently young men have no more control of their sexual functions then they have of their bladders as a 2-year old.  And although most parents would consider themselves derelict in their parental responsibilities if they let their children attend public schools without being potty trained at 5 years old, they think nothing of turning them out in the world to sow their wild seeds; unable to control their dispersal at 16, 17, or 18 years old.  In fact many parents proudly await the day when it becomes apparent that their youngster has "gotten it" on with the opposite sex as a symbol of male virility.  But do these parents dare inquire whether their young man has bothered to satisfy their female conquest?  Or does this so-called conquest only involve penetration and the inevitable ejaculation.  Parents today are merely concerned that their young man has deposited his seed in a safe receptacle and worry that his body part was protected from unwanted disease.  The more liberated parent might ask whether their son "had a good time"; but that's pretty much the extent of their perceived responsibility.  Other than being taught to  wash their hands after a visit tot eh lavatory, is it  not time to teach our young men a little more then what we do today.  I thing the clear and obvious answer is......., YES.